Friday, October 3, 2014

Bali... inside reflexion...

So, what is going on in the life of a girl/woman that is reading a book called “No culpes al Karma de lo que te pasa por gilipollas” (“don’t blame Karma of the things that happen to you because you are stupid”).

Talking about Karma, I’m back in Bali.
After 4 years.
I always felt it was something unfinished here.

I arrived a week ago, like always, putting my life in 2 bags, 40 kilos allowed and a cabin back pack heavy like hell.

I thought it was going to be very easy to be back here, and in a way, it is.
I enjoy my work, my home and to see friends I haven’t seen for 4 years!

But is true that there is a “je ne sais quoi” in my heart…

I left Spain with a heavy teary heart, because loosing a very good dear friend is one of the hardest things have ever happened to me. So I spent around 17 hours fly crying… nice.
Of course it was the mix of emotions with saying good bye to my Family and Agus (both of my amazing supports to take on this new adventure) and my friends and a final good bye to someone very very special in my life.

So a week has gone, and still jet lag, but because I’m alone, I get a lot of time to rethink and think everything.

One of the things I realised, is that last time I was here, I did some things wrong. I didn’t meant to, but I did. I hurt people and I shouldn’t have done, and I hurt myself.
Emotionally and physically with a very bad motorbike accident: Karma? Maybe.
What I’m realising now that I’m back is that the island is giving me a second opportunity, so I’m taking Bali resolutions.
One of them is to never hurt people that love me and protect me. Love is not unconditional and you have to take care of it.
The other one, is that actually I don’t really care if you like me or not. I’m here to do my job, and to do it well…
I just don’t want stories, I don’t want to hurt and I don’t want to get hurt.
I want to wake up in the morning, teach, dive, feel it and love it.

Bali is going to be very different now for me.
I see the island with other eyes. But still an amazingly beautiful island.

It was nice to be back at Tulamben. To dive. To say hello to the wreck…

And right now is nice to be at home and write on my blog, think about life, relax…

I’m alone, and even if is hard sometimes… I don’t mind been with myself… is not that bad ;-)

Here for all, and hopefully more often… I will write some news!

Peace and love

Just me.